Flavors of Life
by kaibasgirlx
Summary: JC oneshots for JC week on DA.
1. first meeting

**Title: **Meet the Family

**Rating: **T

**Prompt: **"First Meeting"

**A/N:** My *extremely* late submission for JC week, that's been going on DA. I'm so bad with deadlines, it's not even funny. Anyway, I had fun writing this, I hope you guys like it too.

* * *

><p>"C'mon Jimmy, hurry up," Cindy said, as they walked down the block together. "I don't want to be late!"<p>

"We're ten minutes early, Cindy," Jimmy rolled his eyes as he walked at a more slightly stilted pace, hands shoved into his pockets. "Besides, I don't know why we have to do this. I mean, your family already knows who I am, we've been living across the street from each other since we were like, four."

"Are you nervous?" Cindy asked teasingly, turning to look at him over her shoulder with a grin.

"Nervous? Me? Pah! Of course not!" Jimmy laughed her off. "Why would I be nervous? I mean, we're just going to meet your parents, and it's not like there's anything strange about that. It's just a formality thing, really. They already know we're engaged, it's not like we're springing it on them at the last minute. And besides, just because your mom is a little possessive of you doesn't mean anything! I'm sure it's nothing to worry over, because after all—"

"Whoa, take a deep breath," Cindy interrupted him. The two stopped walking, as she turned to face him. "Look, it's just my parents. Yeah, my mom likes to be dramatic and stuff, but I mean it's not like she doesn't want me to be happy or anything..."

"Cindy, she fainted, _twice_, after we told her over the phone," Jimmy pointed out.

"That's because I told her I was engaged! Any mother would faint after hearing that their only daughter was getting married!"

"Then why did she faint again when you told her who it was?"

"Good point." Cindy sighed. "I don't know, Jimmy. I'm nervous too. I mean, what if the only thing my mom remembers about you is how your inventions nearly cost us our lives, or nearly destroyed the town, on more than one occasion? I don't know what I'll do if they don't give us their blessing! Or worse, what if they take a stand against us? What if they tell us we're too young, or too fanciful, or that we have no idea what we're getting ourselves into? What if—"

"Cindy." Jimmy slipped his hands up her arms, giving them a tight squeeze. "Listen, we've been through worst things together, and we still managed to get through it. There's no reason why something like this should stop us. Even if your parents don't approve of me, we're not going to let something as small as that get between us, right?"

The blonde haired girl glanced to the side. "Right."

They began walking again, striding up the familiar block to their childhood homes, where the memories of rivalries, adventures, and confidences seemed to beckon them, carried on the wind like so many whispered secrets.

Jimmy found himself getting caught up in the moment, as sounds and pictures from a time gone by flashed in his mind like a silent film.

"Here we are," Cindy said quietly, as they stood outside the door to her parent's home.

"Ready?" The brunet asked, as he raised his hand to knock.

"No, wait!" Cindy cried, as she nervously began to straighten her fiancé's tie. She pulled his jacket stiff, dusting off imaginary lint from his shoulders.

"Cindy..."

"Okay, okay, I'm done. Just.." she picked a speck off his tie, before Jimmy, rolling his eyes, knocked.

The door swung open almost immediately.

"Cynthia! Darling!" Sasha Vortex engulfed her only child in a pompous embrace.

"Hi Mom," Cindy greeted, as she pulled away. She cleared her throat, gesturing to the man beside her. "Mom, I'd like you to meet my fiancé, Jimmy Neutron."

Sasha surveyed him haughtily, looking him up and down. "Isn't he the boy that always used to get the town into trouble with his crazy inventions?" She asked contemptuously.

"Um..well..ah..."

"That was many years ago. By now, my inventing skills have vastly improved, with a failure rate of only twenty percent," Jimmy answered confidently. "It's nice to meet you..uh...Mom. I can call you Mom, right?"

Sasha eyed him disdainfully. "For the time being," she replied, as she led the way inside.

"This looks like it's going to be harder than we thought," Jimmy whispered to his fiancée, once her mother had disappeared into the kitchen.

"Ya think?" Cindy shot back.

"Maybe your father will be more amiable?" Jimmy suggested.

Cindy shook her head. "Not a chance," she answered miserably. "Mom's got him totally whipped."

"Oh.." Jimmy felt that he did not really need to know this rather revealing piece of information about his future father-in-law, as the man himself entered the dining room, taking a seat at the table.

Cindy motioned for the genius to follow her, as they also took their seats, just as Sasha walked in, carrying a pot roast and setting it down.

"So..um...Mom..how've you been?" Cindy asked, once they had all been served.

"You mean since you went off to college and left your poor mother alone? Fine, I suppose."

"Sounds gre—"

"After all, I know how hard-working you are. You have a very strong and sensible head on your shoulders, Cynthia darling, not to mention, you aren't the kind of person to get carried away by something so..._whimsical_." She gestured towards her fiancé, wrinkling her nose. "Really, Cynthia, I don't know _what_you see in him."

"Mom!" Cindy exclaimed indignantly. "Jimmy and I love each other!"

"But don't you think you can do so much better?" Sasha continued loftily. "Why, there are hundreds, if not _thousands_ of eligible young men who would simply _die_at the chance to date you."

"Maybe that's the problem," Jimmy quipped. "They all _did_die."

"You're not helping!" Cindy hissed, as Sasha threw him a glare.

"And just what makes you think you are worthy of my Cynthia's hand in marriage?" She asked him imperiously.

"Well, like Cindy said, we love each other," Jimmy answered simply. "And after doing a few calculations, I came up with the scientific conclusion that we are compatible both physically and in personality. Despite our drastically different outlook in many areas, there is enough common ground between us to lead to a healthy relationship, and a stable, happy marriage."

The Vortex's stared at him as though he'd fallen from the moon.

"What?" Jimmy asked.

"You actually reduced our relationship to nothing more than a simple equation?" Cindy asked incredulously.

Jimmy scratched the back of his head. "Well..it isn't such a simple formula, to be honest. And it isn't just one equation, it's a couple. It would have been nearly impossible to encompass our entire relationship into just one simple function. I had tried doing it as a piecewise originally, but that didn't work out when trying to take into account all the variables involved. But I think I finally have it all figured out. Of course, it isn't completely foolproof, because it's not possible to account for everything that could happen in life, but it's pretty close."

"I can't believe it's possible that someone with a brain like yours can even exist!" Cindy retorted waspishly.

"At any rate," Jimmy continued. "I have all the equations and details memorized. If you'd like, I can show you—"

"NO!"

"Okay, jeeze.." Jimmy shrank back, as Mr. Vortex cleared his throat.

"What my wife is getting at," he said, speaking for the first time that night. "Is that we're concerned as to how you kids plan on supporting yourselves. I know it may seem like fun now, but being married and raising a family is a huge responsibility, not to mention the financial burden involved."

"I appreciate your concern," Jimmy answered. "But I'm already one step ahead. I was just offered a position in the Pomona School of Advanced Physics as a part-time professor. The salary and benefits of the job will be more than enough to enable Cindy and I to continue our studies and research, while allowing us to live quite nicely on our own."

Mr. Vortex raised his eyebrows, obviously impressed, and Jimmy couldn't help but feel smug as he snuck a glance at his future mother-in-law's displeased expression.

After that, dinner seemed to pass by a lot more smoothly. Mr. Vortex began making conversation with his future son-in-law, as Cindy and her mom excitedly discussed the details of the wedding.

"Oh my darling," Sasha said, later that evening, as she and her husband walked the young couple to the door. "I can't believe you're getting married! It seems like only yesterday I was bringing you home with me from the hospital."

"Mom! Please!" Cindy exclaimed, highly embarrassed.

Sasha sighed. "Take care of yourself," she kissed her daughter on the cheek.

"And make sure you keep an eye on her," Mr. Vortex nodded in Jimmy's direction.

"Oh, that reminds me," Jimmy said, as he reached into his pocket, taking out a small cube. They watched with interest as the brunet pressed a button on it, and out came two wrapped gifts. "I made these for you guys, Mom, Dad."

"How delightful!"

"That's so thoughtful of you!"

Jimmy smiled with only a touch of smugness, as he saw that he'd finally won over his in-laws.

"Great idea!" Cindy whispered to him. "They're going to love you now!"

Sasha eagerly unwrapped her gift. "I wonder what it could be," she said, before gasping as the final wrapping fell away. In her hand she held a brilliant ruby necklace.

"How splendid!" She exclaimed, entranced at the way the gemstone sparkled.

Mr. Vortex opened his own, revealing a hammer. "Well, this looks like something useful to have around the house," he joked.

"Actually, that's no ordinary hammer. That's the compact toolbox SE700. In an instant, it can transform into any tool you may need! Monkey wrench, screwdriver, pliers, you name it! An entire set of tools, all at the tip of your fingers. A necessity for any household."

Both of Cindy's parents 'ooohed' and 'ahhhed' at the invention, as Mr. Vortex gave it a try, completely amazed.

"And that necklace you have is no regular necklace," Jimmy continued his narration with pride, as he turned to his future mother-in-law. "It actually has a built-in antitheft device. If anyone but you touches it, it will automatically deliver an electric jolt of 1000 volts, enough to stun the person and possibly burn them. It's like a taser, only better and nicer looking."

"How clever of you!" Sasha exclaimed, as she admired her reflection in the stone. "Take a look at this, darling, it's _so_shiny!"

Mr. Vortex picked up the ruby, and before he knew it, the jewel sent a current of 1000 volts of electricity running through his body. Mrs. Vortex, who was standing right next to him, got electrocuted as her husband grabbed onto her to keep from falling over.

Jimmy's mouth dropped open in horror, eyes going wide, as he stared at the nightmare beginning to unfold.

The hammer in Mr. Vortex's hand began to spark, as it started to rapidly change from tool to tool, before it overheated, skyrocketing out of his hand and starting to ricochet off the walls.

"Oh-Oh no!" Jimmy cried. "The electric shock from the necklace is causing the toolbox to malfunction!"

"My paintings!" Mrs. Vortex shrieked, dropping the necklace and clapping her hands to her face. A moment later, there was the unmistakable sound of something breaking. "My vase!"

"Don't just stand there!" Cindy seized her fiancé, shaking him. "Do something! Those are _your_inventions! Stop them somehow!"

"Okay, okay!" Jimmy had to think fast. "At this point, the only way to stop them is by destroying them!"

"Then what are you waiting for?"

"Right!"

He pressed a few buttons on his wristwatch, and took aim. "Steady, steady," he muttered, the perspiration beginning to drip down his face. The watch finally locked on its target. "Aha! Gotcha!" He fired the laser beam, destroying the hammer. Bits of debris rained down on the floor, as Jimmy took aim again, and destroyed the necklace.

There was a deathly silence, as Sasha and her husband turned to stare murderously at the genius.

"So..uh.." Jimmy began, as he slowly backed away. "It was uh, nice to meet you, mom..dad..but we have to go now, so..we'llseeyouathteweddingbye!"

He grabbed Cindy's hand, and made a mad dash out the door.

"Get back here!"

"Run Cindy, run!" Jimmy shouted, as the Vortexs gave chase.

"I'm running as fast as I can, you idiot! This is _all your fault_!"

"I warned your mother about the necklace! She's the one who let your father touch it!"

"Uugggh! Who builds a stupid antitheft device into a necklace anyways!"

"Never mind that now, just run!"

Cindy glanced over her shoulder. Her mother looked absolutely livid, and her father wasn't the happy camper either. "They're gaining on us!"

"Not if I can help it!"

Jimmy pressed another button on his watch. "Goddard! Bring the hover car, and meet us at the end of the block we're on, stat!"

A moment later, they rounded the block, seeing their escape route waiting for them.

"Cindy! Jump!" Jimmy yelled, as they leapt into the air, landing in the safety of their vehicle. Quickly pressing buttons on the control panel, he engaged the thrusters, and just as his future in-laws caught up to them, they shot towards the moon.

"Thanks for dinner! Sorry about what happened!" Jimmy yelled over the side of the car, as they sped away. "We'll let you know the date for the wedding!"

"Get back here, Jimmy Neutron!" Sasha Vortex screamed. "Get back here and clean my living roooooooooooooooooooom!"

_Fin_

A/N:

_So, originally, I had more written up, but deleted it, cause I felt it was getting too long (holy crap, this is already 6 pages!). Anyway, looool, poor Jimmy 'n Cindy. They've got no luck whatsoever XD well, actually, just Jimmy. Heheh._

_Oh, and don't take the thing about the electric shock seriously. I don't know if 1000 volts is enough to really stun a person, or maybe just kill them. I tried looking it up online, but couldn't find anything definite, so I just pulled the number out of my head._

_Anyways, review please? It'll help me write the next one a lot faster!_

_Téa_


	2. fairy tales

**Bedtime Stories**

Cindy sat at the dining room table, busily writing out her thesis for her masters. It was quiet in her home. Almost _too_ quiet.

The blonde put down her pen, stretching her sore limbs as she let out a yawn. Glancing up at the clock that hung on the opposite wall, she saw it was already 8 o'clock. She had been working on her paper for nearly an hour non-stop, and she definitely needed a break. She flipped through the pages of her notebook, estimating that she had approximately 30 more pages to go before it would complete. Oh how she hated having to write this stupid paper! Of course, she couldn't complain to Jimmy, because he wouldn't understand. After all, his had taken only a few days to write, and was nearly 300 pages long!

Speaking of her husband, she wondered where he was. Last she'd seen him, he'd offered to put their daughter to bed so she could concentrate on her studies. She hadn't noticed him coming out of her room, but then again, she'd been quite focused on her writing, maybe she simply didn't hear him coming out.

Getting up, she walked into the kitchen, getting herself a glass of water. After that she made her way down to the basement to see if he was working on one of his inventions, but the lab was dark. She checked the garage, but it was also empty. She walked back into the kitchen.

"Jimmy?" She called, hoping he would answer, but silence greeted her words. Frowning, she went over to their daughter's bedroom to check on her, when she heard voices coming from inside. Ever so slowly, she eased open the door, recognizing the speaker as none-other than her husband.

"…Knowing _m_ and _v_, Robert Goddard was able to derive the kinetic energy given to the gas, and by burning a measured amount of fuel, absorbing the heat in water, and measuring the rise in temperature, the total amount of chemical energy converted to heat could be obtained! However—"

"_Ahem!_"

Jimmy stopped in the middle of his monologue to see his wife leaning against the doorframe, a look of disbelief on her face.

She motioned for him to come out of the room and, after one last glance at their fast asleep daughter, followed her out, shutting the door quietly behind him.

"Hey," he said softly. "I thought you were working on your thesis."

"I was," Cindy answered. "For the last hour or so." She crossed her arms, cocking on eyebrow up at him. "Mind telling me what you were going on about to our daughter after she already fell asleep?"

"Oh, well, Rosalind asked me to tell her a bedtime story, so I was repeating to her the wonderful and thrilling tale of how Robert H. Goddard invented the rocket!"

Cindy stared at him. "Wait, she asked you to tell her a bedtime story, and you told her about the invention of _the rocket_?"

"Yeah," he glanced at his wife, seeing her incredulous expression. "Why, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? ! Neutron, you—ugggghhhhh! ! ! ! ! !"

Jimmy stared at her in bewilderment, as the blonde stormed off into the dining room.

"Cindy, wait!" He caught her by the shoulder, turning her around. "Do you mind telling me why you're upset?"

"Jimmy," she began, praying for patience as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Our daughter asked you for a _bedtime_ _story_, and instead you launched into a full-blown documentary about the invention of rockets! ?"

"But it was a very interesting story!" Jimmy defended. "Just think about it, if Robert Goddard had never climbed that tree as an eight year old boy and –"

"Spare me," Cindy interrupted. "Look, why couldn't you just read her a book? Like, _The Cat in the Hat_, or _Little Red Riding Hood_. She loves those stories every time I read them to her."

"But those aren't interesting!" Jimmy exclaimed, looking like his wife just suggested he read their daughter _Twilight_. "In fact, they don't even make an iota of sense! A cat appearing out of nowhere? Thing One and Thing Two? A Snorkle? It's all just made up gibberish! And don't get me started on Little Red Riding Hood!"

"Jimmy, she's a _kid_! Kids like things that don't make sense! It's _interesting_ to them!"

The genius shrugged, not wanting to get into a fight. "Either way, she fell asleep, so no reason for complaints, right?"

"No, except that you probably _bored_ her to sleep."

"I think it was very stimulating, actually."

Cindy crossed her arms. "Stimulating to you, maybe. But I bet if she was given a choice, Rosie would've asked you to read her something else, like _Sleeping Beauty_ or _The Little Mermaid_."

"Ha! That's absurd! Those are all Disney stories that were rewritten from the original Grimm Brothers tales in order to shelter children from the harsh realities of life and make them believe that all a couple has to do is kiss, and they'll live happily ever after! What absolute nonsense!"

"Well then, how about we ask Rosie tomorrow night and see what she likes better? A nice age-appropriate fairy tale or recitation of the periodic table?"

"Hey, I only did that once, and that was so she could have a basic background in chemistry so that she'll understand what I'm talking about when I explain to her the process of—"

"Spare me!"

* * *

><p>The next night, as Jimmy was putting their daughter to bed, Cindy entered the room.<p>

"So, Rosalind, ready for Daddy to read you a bedtime story?"

"Will you be telling me about the time the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, or about the time Thomas Edison invented the light bulb?" Rosie asked sweetly.

"Neither," Cindy responded, crossing her arms. "Daddy's going to read you a fairytale, _right?_"

Jimmy sighed. "But Cindy—!"

"Really?" Rosie asked excitedly, going wide-eyed. "But Mommy, I thought only you read me fairytales, and Daddy reads me documentaries!"

Cindy narrowed her eyes. "Well, today Daddy's going to read you a nice, normal story."

Rosie clapped her hands. "Yay! Can you read me Cinderella?"

Jimmy sighed, thinking of how he was about to murder his daughter's brain cells, as Cindy selected the appropriate book from the shelf, and handed it to him wordlessly. He would try to keep the damage as minimal as possible.

"Once upon a time," the genius began, as Rosie sat up eagerly in bed. "There lived a girl who, by natural selection, was born with the most beautiful traits that made her attractive to men."

"Ex_cuse_ me? !" Cindy began, but Jimmy continued, ignoring her.

"However, due to Murphy's Law, just as everything was going smoothly in her life, her parents divorced and her father remarried a woman with two daughters. Due to Cinderella being a teenage drama queen, not to mention suffering from schizophrenia, she immediately labeled her new step family as evil, and constantly wrote lies about them on the internet, spinning tall tales about them enslaving her and making her work for her dinner.

"One day, Cinderella was bored, and found a bottle of an unknown liquid in the refrigerator. Deciding to just drink it, she was immediately besieged by an existential, out-of-body experience in which a fairy gdmother appeared to her, and magically transformed her outfit into a beautiful dress. She then proceeded to provide her with a coach, horses, footmen, and all other such vestigial amenities that would whisk her away to a ball where an Adonis-like prince would proclaim his undying love for her. However, before their true love could be sealed, the effects of the LSD wore off, and Cinderella woke up from her coma in the hospital near her home where she was facing charges for using a Schedule I drug and a life's time in prison.

"And that, Rosalind, is why you should never do drugs." Jimmy closed the book happily, satisfied that he had gotten a moral out of the story.

A thick silence greeted his words, before Cindy exploded.

"Just what the hell was that? !"

"Honey, please don't swear in front of our daughter."

Cindy fumed, as Jimmy chuckled quietly at his own cleverness of getting out of reading his daughter a stupid fairytale.

"Listen, Cin, if you think you can do a better job, then why don't you read her a story?"

"I will!" Cindy glared. "And you're going to sit right here and listen, so that next time you'll know how to properly tell a story!"

Jimmy groaned, but Cindy ignored him.

"Rosalind sweetheart, Mommy's going to read you Snow White."

"Yaaaay!" Rosie clapped her hands in delight.

Cindy took the book of fairy tales from her husband, and began to flip through the pages until she found the right one. Clearing her throat, she began.

"Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a beautiful girl named Cynthia Aurora…"

Cindy brushed her hair out idly as she thought of the various things she had to do for the day. She still needed to finish up her paperwork from the night before, look over the financial records of the hotel she worked and lived in, look over the progress of some of the new employees, and act like her usual bossy, cantankerous self.

Selecting a black tank top and a pair of jeans from her wardrobe, Cindy quickly got dressed, before stepping out of her room and taking the elevator down to the lobby to get some breakfast. As she rode it silently down, the elevator stopped at the fifth floor.

"Good morning, Cynthia Aurora," Betty Quinlan greeted, as she stepped inside.

"It's Cindy," the blonde responded tersely. "And good morning."

Betty gave a tight-lipped smile, as the annoying music filled the air between them. The elevator stopped once more at the third floor. Inside stepped none other than James Isaac Neutron, whom both girls happened to have a crush on.

"Good morning, James," Betty greeted, using her evil powers to dilate her pupils in order to make herself seem more appealing.

"Oh, hey Betty. Already cracked out the THC so early in the morning?"

Betty let out a high, false laugh. "Oh, you're a riot James, honestly!"

Jimmy turned his attention to the beautiful blonde who was standing beside him.

"Morning Cindy," he greeted warmly.

"Morning, Jimmy," Cindy gave a slight smile.

I was thinking about you last night."

"Oh really?" Cindy arched a brow.

"Yeah, I was looking out at the aurora borealis using my high-powered Neutronic scope, and all I could think of was how even nature couldn't possibly compare to your beauty."

Cindy snorted, as the elevator doors opened to the ground floor. "Oh please, that's so corny Jimmy. What, have you been reading pick-up lines on the internet again?"

"No! I was just flipping through that trashy romance novel so many teens are crazy over."

"Wait, you've been reading twi—"

The elevator doors shut, blocking out the rest of their conversation. Betty Quinlan silently seethed as she glared at the metal doors. Letting out a snarl, she opened the small panel above the elevator buttons that was meant for emergencies. However, instead of a phone, there was a small mirror fitted perfectly inside it.

The brunette stared at her reflection for a moment, before speaking.

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

She waited a moment, but when no response was forthcoming, she snapped, "Hey! I'm talking to you!"

Finally, the image of a dark-skinned woman with her hair in cornrows appeared.

"Yo Betty, I thought I told ya not to bug me till you pay your tab!"

"It's coming!" Betty hissed. "As soon as I get my one true love, James Neutron, I'll be filthy rich, and then I'll be able to pay you all the money you want!"

"Sure, sure," Libby responded. "So what's got ya tied up in a knot today?"

"Tell me, Liberty, who's the fairest of them all? Me, or Cynthia Aurora?"

"Girl, you really need to get some help! You ask me that question every freakin' day! Do you think my response changed since yesterday? Uh, no!"

"Just answer the question!"

"The answer's no! You ain't the fairest of 'em all! That's Cindy, girl. She's got more beauty, brains, and spunk than you'll have in a million years, and until you get her outta the way, there ain't no chance Jimmy's gonna even look twice at you!"

"So that's how it is then, is it?" Betty hissed venomously. Smoke began to form around her, filling the elevator with a dense purple fog. "Very well then. I'll just have to find a way to get sweet little Cynthia Aurora out of the picture..._permanently_. Ahahahahahahahaha!"

Libby looked at the brunette pointedly. "Girl, have you taken your meds today?"

"...shut up!"

Suddenly, both heard a sound coming from the entrance. Betty turned to see Nick Dean edging silently away from the elevator doors.

"Uhhhh...I just wanted to go up to the tenth floor...but it's okay...I'll just take a different elevator..."

"Why, don't be silly, Nicholas!" Betty smiled, as she pulled him inside. "Why, you're the perfect person to ride the elevator with me!"

Nick looked around fearfully, as the doors started to close. "No, it's okay, really! I think I want to take the steps, you know, some good exercise!"

"Oh, but I _insist_."

The hispanic began to cower in fear. "Please don't kill me! I'm too beautiful to die! All my fangirls will be so heartbroken, they'll probably commit suicide!"

Betty rolled her eyes at the teen's narcissism. "Listen, Nick, how would you like a job?"

Immediately Nick straightened up, assuming a more professional air. "What kind of job?"

"I want you to _kill_Cynthia Aurora for me."

Nick's eyes went wide. "Cindy? But why?"

"Because she's a vile wretch, and until I get her out of the way, there's no chance that Jimmy will ever look at me, let alone take my courting overtures seriously."

"Wait, you're jealous of Jimmy and Cindy?" Nick smoothed his hair out, giving her his most suave smile. "Babe, if you're looking for a boyfriend, I'm your man!"

"I don't want you! I want James!" Betty held out her hand, a gun appearing in it. "Here, take this. I want you to use it to shoot the witch like the sloth she is."

Nick's eyes went wide. "You can't be serious!"

Betty laughed. "Of course I'm serious! Now, just to make sure you don't betray me, I want you to bring me her eyes back in this container," she handed him the Tupperware box.

Nick stared from the gun in his hand, to the container Betty was holding out to him.

"You're crazy!"

"Why yes, yes I am."

The hispanic crossed his arms, leaning back a little and narrowing his eyes. "Okay, let's just say for a minute that I agree to do this. What do I get out of it?"

Betty glared at his nerve. "How about...I _don't_kill you?"

"Hey babe, you kill me, and my fangirls will be after your blood."

"Yes, the fangirls who are just crazy over the man who can't stop breaking his leg!"

"It just means I have good luck!"

"Or a twisted perversion of it," Betty muttered under her breath. "Very well, what do you want in exchange for your services?"

Nick grinned devilishly. "How's about a date and a one-night stand at the hotel of my choice?"

"In hell!"

Nick frowned. "Okay, then just the one-night stand?"

"Do I look like one of your sick, depraved fangirls? !"

"Uhh...not really..."

"Then no!"

"Okay, okay, so...um...an hour of heaven then?"

"Isn't there anything better your mind can think of then copulation? !"

"Lemme think..." Nick scratched his head. "No."

"Fifteen minutes."

"An hour."

"Half an hour."

"Thirty-five minutes."

"Forty-five minutes and you've got yourself a deal!"

"Fine then! But you're not getting anything from me until you bring me back her eyes like I requested!"

"No problem, just leave it to me," Nick grinned.

"Good, now get the hell out of here!" The brunette pushed him out of the elevator. "And make sure you wash off the blood! I don't want to get my hands dirty when I hold them!"

The elevator doors closed shut, leaving Nick out alone in the lobby, and Betty inside.

"Soon, little Cynthia, very soon, you'll be out of the way, and then Jimmy's heart will be mine! Ahahahahahahahaha-_cough_-hahahaha-_cough-cough_-hahaha-_coooouuuuugggghhhhh_-ugggh. I need to stop doing that."

* * *

><p>"Achoo!"<p>

Jimmy looked up at the blonde, before letting out a sneeze himself.

"Achoo!"

"Uggghhhh, Neutron, are you giving me a cold or something?" Cindy groaned.

"No! I don't know what this is; it must be very dusty in here or something!"

The two of them had been sneezing intermittently for the last half hour.

"Well, I know I'm not allergic to anything," Cindy complained.

"Neither am I!"

"I know why you two are sneezing."

Both turned to see a redhead leaning against the wall, his bangs covering his eyes.

"What do you mean, Butch?" Cindy asked.

"Easy," Butch smirked. "It means there are people talking about you."

"Talking about us?"

"Yeah, and they're plotting something also. You guys better watch out, someone doesn't want the two of you together."

"Whaat? ! Oh please!" Jimmy dismissed him. "On what basis do you state your allegations?"

"The voice has spoken to me, man, and it _knows_."

"Ahhh, you're crazy! Voice, please! What gibberish. C'mon Cindy, let's go. This is turning out to be a weird day."

The two stalked off, as Butch stayed where he was, looking almost catatonic as he leaned against the wall. Then, all at once he seemed to snap out of it, as he gave a shake of his head, and pumped his fist in the air.

"Man, that was some effing awesome DMT!"

* * *

><p>Nick whistled as he walked down the hallway towards the lobby of the hotel. He tried to look as innocent as possible, as though he weren't about to attempt first degree murder.<p>

As luck would have it, he spotted the couple stepping out from the Starbucks café built into the hotel.

_Perfect_, Nick thought, as he sauntered over to them.

"…impossible! According to all laws of physical science, the fourth dimension is simply a theatrical term meant to convey the presence of a watching audience! It does not exist in real life!"

"And I'm telling _you_ that the fourth dimension _does_ exist! If you can have a parallel dimension, who's to say you can't have a fourth one?"

"Oh Please, that doesn't even make any sense! _Fourth one_. And anyway, if that were the case, then there could be people watching us right now! Hell, we could just be some characters in an intricately woven plot posted on some loser website where similar losers waste their time reading about the two of us going on various adventures and mishaps with an undercurrent of heavy sexual tension only to end up admitting our undying love for each other in a horribly clichéd romantic fashion!"

Cindy blinked for a moment, completely at a loss for words. Luckily, Nick took that moment to interrupt them.

"Hey Cindy, hey Jimmy, what's up?"

"Oh, hey Nick," Cindy greeted.

"What are you guys arguing about?"

"We're just debating the plausibility of a fourth dimension actually existing," Jimmy rolled his eyes. "Ha! As if there's any scientific proof of _that_!"

"Of course there is!" Cindy argued. "Scientists say they might have discovered a link to it, I think they called it fan...fan-something!"

"Sounds kind of interesting," Nick scratched the side of his head. "Say, Cindy, do you wanna grab an early lunch?"

Cindy arched an eyebrow. "Oh, sure Nick. Let me ignore all my responsibilities and other twenty-million things I have to do just so I can have lunch with you despite the fact that I just ate and aren't even hungry."

"Awesome!" Nick exclaimed, missing the sarcasm. "How about we go down the block, there's a new cafe that just opened shop."

"I wasn't serious, moron!" Cindy rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I have to go get my work done. See you later Jimmy. Nick."

"Later Cindy," Jimmy grinned, before heading out the door.

Nick stood there for a moment, making a fast decision. He quickly caught up to the blonde, who was waiting to take the elevator up to the fifth floor.

"Cindy, I really need to talk to you," Nick exclaimed urgently.

Cindy stared at him. This was definitely odd behavior for the normally cool and collected male. She crossed her arms. "Okay, you have until the elevator gets here."

There was a _ping_ as the doors near her opened.

"Whoops, times up. Maybe later, after lunch."

Nick grabbed Cindy's wrist before she could go move. The blonde turned to glare at him fiercely.

"Let me go!"

"I need to talk to you _now_, I can't wait until after lunch!" He lowered his voice, pleading. "Please? It's really urgent!"

Cindy wrenched her arm from his grasp. "I honestly don't care what your problems you're having with your fan-girls, Nick! Now get out of my sight before I call security!"

"It's not about my fan-girls! It's...It's about you! And Jimmy! And...and Betty Quinlan!"

That last name got her attention. She narrowed her eyes. "What about Betty Quinlan?"

"I can't talk to you about it here," Nick said quietly. "We have to go somewhere else, where there aren't other people around."

Cindy eyed him suspiciously for a moment, before finally agreeing to follow him outside.

The Hispanic male led her down the street, while the blonde got increasingly impatient.

"_Well_?" She finally snapped, after he led her down various streets and side blocks. "Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on, or do I have to beat it out of you?"

Nick flinched slightly, before stopping in front of a dark alleyway. He gestured for her to go in before him.

"You better have a good explanation for all of this," Cindy growled, as she crossed her arms and entered.

"Oh, believe me, I do," Nick said darkly, as he removed the gun from his pocket. He turned around and pointed it straight at the girl's heart. "Sorry about this Cindy, but it's the only way me and Betty can be together."

"Hiyayayayayayayayayaya!"

The gun went flying out of Nick's hand before he could pull the trigger, skidding across the ground and hitting the side of the brick wall. Before the he could react, Cindy delivered a fierce uppercut to his jaw, which knocked him back towards the floor. She finished her attack off with a kick in his side.

Nick groaned, feeling pain all over his body, as the blonde lifted him up by the scruff of his neck.

"Alright, you S.O.B., you wanna tell me what in gd's name is going on, or do I have to beat the living crap out of you first? !"

Nick didn't say anything in response, the pain in his jaw making it difficult to talk.

"Well? !" Cindy shook him.

"B-Betty!" He finally managed to choke out.

Cindy narrowed her eyes. "What about Betty?"

"S-She wants you dead!"

"_What_? Why that little...why does she want me dead?"

"Because she wants Jimmy for herself, and she doesn't think she'll get him unless you're out of the picture."

There was a pause for a moment, before Cindy let him drop unceremoniously to the floor. "_Idiot_."

She walked over to where the gun had landed, pocketing it. Then she turned and began to walk out of the alleyway.

"Where are you going?" Nick asked, as he rubbed his jaw.

"To get back at that harpy."

Nick's eyes went wide. "No, you can't!"

Cindy whirled around on him. "And just why the hell not? !"

"Because Betty promised me a one-night stand if I do this for her!"

The blonde gawked at him. "You were going to murder a person in exchange for some sex? ! I can't believe I ever had a crush on you!"

"Actually, you didn't let me get to the part where I have mercy on you, and instead of killing you allow you to live in hiding," Nick responded dryly. "You kind of skipped that."

"Whatever," Cindy dismissed him. "Anyway, unless you can come up with a solution, I'm going straight back to the hotel and blowing that witch's brains out!"

"I got it!" Nick snapped his fingers excitedly. "I have a cousin who lives not too far from here with a couple of friends. I bet he won't mind if you crash by him for a few days!"

Cindy crossed her arms, not liking this idea at all. "And just who exactly is your cousin?"

* * *

><p>"Here we are!" Nick announced, as he gesticulated to the rundown purple house, in a remote area of Retroville.<p>

Cindy was completely unimpressed. "This place looks gay and like a complete garbage dump."

"It's more impressive on the inside, trust me," Nick assured her.

"Trust _you_?" Cindy muttered under her breath, but nevertheless followed the Hispanic up to the front porch, where he proceeded to knock in a series of thumps.

There was silence for a few moments, before a voice boomed out from within the home.

"Who goes there?"

"It is I, Nick Dean."

"Pass code to gain entrance, oh humble servant?"

"Oh please!" Cindy rolled her eyes, feeling like she was watching an 8-year-old's clubhouse meeting.

Nick, however, was completely unfazed. "Brown Pride, my brother. Brown Pride."

The door swung open immediately.

"Nick!" A voice shrilled. "Yo, yo, yo! What's up hommie?"

"Hey yourself, Sheen!"

The two bumped fists, before Sheen led him inside. Nick motioned to the blonde to follow.

"Cindy, this is my cousin, Sheen," he introduced.

"Hey there," Sheen grinned at her. "Nice Ultra Lady," he winked at Nick.

Cindy's hand formed a tight fist.

"She's not mine!"Nick hurried to clarify. "Listen Sheen, I need a favor. Can Cindy stay with you guys for a couple of days?"

"Does she like Ultra Lord?"

"Yeah, definitely!"

"Okay, then she can stay."

"Wait, what?" Cindy interjected. "I don't like Ultra Lord! I don't even watch it! That crappy show was cancelled years ago because it got such bad ratings!"

Sheen let out a gasp, as he began to twitch, looking like he was about to have a seizure.

"She was just joking Sheen!" Nick hurried to say, as he took the blonde aside. "Look, just say you like Ultra Lord so that he'll stop having a panic attack and let you stay."

Cindy crossed her arms. "And just why the hell should I? Give me one good reason why I should even want to stay here!"

"Because Sheen has hot springs in his backyard!" Nick exclaimed desperately.

"Hot springs?" Cindy arched a brow. "We're in freaking Texas Nick! We don't have hot springs here!"

"No, he really does, I can show you them! They're artificial, but you wouldn't be able to tell the difference! Also, every room here is equipped with everything you could possibly want! Jaccuzzi, flat screen TV, internet, cable, Netflix, HBO, everything!"

Cindy raised an eyebrow. "And just where does Ultra Freak get the money for this kind of stuff?"

"I don't know, he won't tell me. All he says is that he's got a really rich friend somewhere who he managed to convince to vomit all of his money on him like this."

"What, is he tied to the mafia or something?"

Nick shrugged. "Could be, I wouldn't put it past him."

From behind them, Sheen finally stopped spazzing out, as they turned to face him. Nick nudged the blonde, as Cindy muttered something under her breath.

"I...um...think Ultra Lord is the greatest," she bit out, adding quietly underneath her breath, "_if I were brain-damaged_."

Sheen's whole demeanor immediately changed. "Welcome to the club, babe!"

"Call me babe one more time, and I'll knock all your teeth out!" She growled.

Sheen grinned. "Oooh, feisty, I like this chica!"

"Awesome," Nick rubbed his hands together excitedly. "Well, I better get going. Oh wait, before I go, Sheen, where do you keep your jar of eyeballs?"

"In the first cupboard on the left," Sheen answered promptly.

"Eyeballs?" Cindy repeated .

Nick shrugged as he went into the kitchen and came back out with a pair of emerald orbs that matched Cindy's almost perfectly.

"Betty wanted me to gouge out your eyes and bring them back as proof that you were really dead."

"That doesn't disturb me nearly as much as the fact that your cousin has eyes that _look exactly like mine in his cupboard!_"

Sheen shrugged. "They're not mine. They belong to my rich friend. He invented them, and asked if he could keep them here."

"Eww, who's your creepy friend?"

"You won't get that outta me! My lips are sealed as tightly as the time in episode 394, 'Don't Talk or Die' in which Ultra Lord was tortured to reveal the names of his comrades who helped him escape on pain of death!"

Cindy rolled her eyes, as Nick shrugged, giving her a look of 'I told you so', before leaving.

Left alone in the hallway with the Mexican, an awkward silence fell between the two.

"Soooo..." Sheen began. "Wanna watch Ultra Lord?"

"In your dreams, Ultra Freak. I'm going to my room. Make sure someone knocks on my door when supper's ready, and it had better be something good!"

With that, the blonde turned and walked up the stairs, picking a random door and walking in through it. Glad to find it was empty, she stared for a moment in wonder at the hotel-like ambiance, before giving an excited squeal and crashing on the king-sized bed. Letting out a happy sigh, she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep after the day's exhausting events.

* * *

><p>Nick sauntered back into the hotel, the container of eyeballs tucked safely into his jacket pocket. Whistling a happy tune, he looked around for the object of his affections, but was disappointed to find that she was nowhere in sight. He leaned against the wall, trying to figure out where she might be, not noticing as the elevator doors opening from behind him.<p>

"Hello, Nicholas. Were you looking for me?"

"Aaaah! Oh, hey Betty!" Nick quickly smoothed out his hair, trying to cover up for his girlish scream.

"Do you have what I requested from you?"

"Yep, sure do!" Nick held out the plastic container.

"Give it to me!" Betty greedily took it from his hands. Opening it up, her lips curled into a malicious smile as she saw the emerald orbs staring back at her vacantly. "Excellent."

"Sooo..." Nick began, as he moved closer to the brunette. "About those forty-five minutes of heaven?"

"Crapit." Betty cursed.

"How about tonight then?"

"Whatever."

"Awesome. Now you'll find out why some of my fan-girls like to call me _Saint _Nick."

"I think I'd rather barf."

"See you later, babe," Nick winked, as he walked away.

* * *

><p>Over the next few days, Cindy acclimated wonderfully to her new surroundings. Every morning started with Carl knocking tentatively on her door to wake her up. He would then proceed to give her a 1-hour Swedish massage before she took a shower and got ready for the day. Elke would cook her a lavish feast for breakfast, as she gossiped with Brittaney about the latest and greatest. April would provide her with a sparring partner when she wanted to keep her skills sharp, while Sheen made for great entertainment when she was bored.<p>

"Ahhh, this is the life," Cindy sighed happily, as she soaked in the hot springs outside in Sheen's backyard. She smiled with pleasure as she sank deeper into the water, wondering how she had ever managed before having 6 people weighing on her every whim.

In the meantime, Betty Quinlan entered her lair—er, entered the elevator, and proceeded to face the mirror fitted perfectly into where the emergency telephone ought to have been.

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

There was no answer. Betty tried again.

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

Still no reply.

"_Ahem_. Mirror mirror—"

"Stop repeatin' yo'self, I heard ya the first time! Yeesh, you're like some broken record, ya know that?" An irritated Libby appeared in place of the brunette's reflection.

"Then why did you take so long answering?" Betty questioned.

"Oh, gee, I dunno, maybe cause I get _bored_ answering the same freakin' thing every time?"

"Well," Betty smirked triumphantly. "I believe that this time you will have a different answer to give me."

"Uh, _no_. Cindy's _still_ fairer than you, by like, a thousand to one."

"Yes, but Cynthia Aurora is _dead_." Betty replied with a tight-lipped smile.

"Oh no she ain't."

"Of course she is! Nick himself killed her and brought me back her eyes!" Betty waved the container as proof.

"Uh, yeah, Nick kinda betrayed ya sweetheart. Those ain't Cindy's eyes, just some copy of 'em."

"What? !"

"Well, to be honest, Cindy sorta beat the living crap outta Nick before he even had the chance to try an' kill her. So after totally ownin' him, Nick took her to stay at his cousin's house so she wouldn't kill you, because he wanted to get his payment first."

"Why that double-crossing two-timing son of a—"

"Hey! This is supposed ta be fairy tale, remember? No strong language!"

"Where is that harlot now?" Betty hissed, fists clenching and unclenching in anger.

"At Sheen's livin' it up," Libby responded, as she showed her an image of Cindy soaking contentedly in the hot springs.

"Well then, it seems I'm going to have to pay her a visit," Betty gritted out, a rancid look on her face as she watched the blonde enjoying herself.

"Next time choose your henchman more wisely," Libby advised her, as she came back into view.

"I didn't think Nick would be so incompetent," Betty muttered.

"Dude, the guy screams like a girl, and this _didn't_ clue you in to the fact that he's got no balls to murder anyone? !" Libby asked, astounded.

Betty didn't reply, merely glowering in response. Snapping her fingers, a book appeared before her, as she flipped purposefully through the pages.

'What should I do, what should I do..." Betty muttered to herself. "Should I turn her into stone? Spin her on a Catherine Wheel and bludgeon her to death? Feed her body to snakes?"

"Why don't you just, ya know, poison her or somethin'? That usually does the trick, an' you don't need no fancy footwork for it either," Libby interjected, as she filed her nails.

"Yes, but the problem with that is the potion for poison that I have here will only put her into a deep sleep, and she'll awaken with true love's first kiss. Blech. Stupid Disney tropes."

"Well, that's too bad. Cause the minute Jimmy finds out what ya did, he'll drop everythin' he's doin' and come runnin' to save her like a knight n' shinin' armor."

"Yes, this is quite a problem. No matter, I'll just get rid of the brat myself, Kill Bill style."

"Just make sure it don't turn into Kill Betty! You still gotta pay off your tab. An' anyway, how're you plannin' on sneakin' into Sheen's?"

"Oh, that part will be easy," Betty smirked.

* * *

><p>It wasn't long before the brunette was walking up the steps to Sheen's front porch, and knocking on his front door. There was a moment of silence before,<p>

"Who dares come before Ultra Lord?"

"It is I, Ultra Lord's biggest fan!"

"You dare declare themselves a greater fan than me?"

"I dare!"

The door swung open, as Sheen took in the sight before him. Betty was standing there, dressed in full Ultra Lord regalia. The Mexican's eyes seemed to _pop_ as for a few moments he could only produce the faint choking sounds of someone going into anaphylactic shock. Then he spotted the necklace around Betty's neck, and his jaw dropped to the floor.

"Y-You have the ultra rare ultra special-edition Ultra Lord necklace of bravery courage nobility pride aristocracy and valor given to Ultra Lord in episode 967 season finale special 'Ultra Lord is Knighted' in which Ultra Lord was brought before the Queen of Shibalia on planet Xexon who gave him that necklace as a sign of her eternal and undying love for Ultra Lord but who turned down her affections because he had promised Ultra Lady that he would return to her because she was waiting for him back home!"

He said this all in one breath, as his right eye twitched spasmodically, before he fell to the floor in a dead faint.

"Well, that was rather simple," Betty mused, as she stepped over the male's prone form, entering the house. Heading towards the living room, she spotted a familiar head of blonde flipping aimlessly through the channels.

"Yo, Ultra Freak, who was at the door?" Cindy asked, not looking up as she heard footsteps. "And don't you subscribe to any other channel that shows something _besides_ old reruns of Ultra Lord episodes?"

"Ah, Cynthia Aurora. How nice to see that you haven't changed from your usual rude, ungracious ways."

Cindy jumped up as she turned around to face the intruder.

"Betty Quinlan," she hissed, narrowing her eyes.

"It seems the time has finally come to settle our differences," Betty smirked. "After all, there can only be _one_ true holder of Jimmy's heart."

"Oh? And what are you going to do, use your ultra-dork powers on me?" Cindy snickered, as she took in the brunette's outfit. "Really Quinlan, you never struck me as the hopeless, sick, pathetic moron who obsesses over a kid's TV show."

"Well then, allow me to change into more proper attire." With one swift motion, the brunette pulled off her clothing, revealing a bright yellow jumpsuit beneath her costume. "There, I think that should do it."

Cindy narrowed her eyes, as she took an offensive position. Betty unsheathed the samurai sword at her side.

"Are you ready to die?" The brunette asked maliciously.

"Bring it on, you hussy!"

Betty swung her sword, lunging towards the blonde, as Cindy threw the remote at her, jumping out of the way and landing behind her. Doing a 180 degree turn, the brunette went after the blonde, as Cindy ducked under the couch, just as Betty lopped off the tops of the cushions. Back-pedaling, the blonde kicked up the coffee table, which Betty crashed her sword into, splintering the wood in half.

Seeing her opportunity, Cindy broke off one of the legs and used it as an improvised weapon, which Betty knocked out of her hand with a swing of her sword.

"It's useless, Cindy," Betty laughed. "You may be good at many different types of martial arts, but when I hold a weapon in my hands, you're completely powerless against me!"

"At least I don't have such a horrible sense of fashion!" Cindy shot back, as she swerved to the side to avoid another blow.

"Oh? Yellow happens to look excellent on me!" Betty retorted, as she forced Cindy to arch back to avoid the sword decapitating her.

The blonde did a few somersaults, riding the momentum from her defense, as she put a bit of a distance between her and Betty. She wiped the side of her face, where the sword had managed to make a small cut.

"Heh, didn't you know? Yellow's the color of inferiority."

The brunette smirked, as she lunged forward once more. "I wouldn't be talking, when it's the color of my hair!"

Betty continued to strike at the blonde, as Cindy found herself backed up against the windows, trying to avoid getting hit. Feeling the glass against her back, she realized she was trapped.

"Looks like this is the end of the line for you," Betty gloated, as she rammed her sword through the blonde.

Jumping up at the last minute, Cindy grabbed hold of the curtain rod, kicking out at the brunette and causing her to fall back. Swinging herself upwards, she crouched against the narrow space between the ceiling and the curtain rod, using the wall for support.

Snarling, Betty regrouped herself and slashed at the curtains, causing the rod to buckle under Cindy's weight. Spinning midair so that she won't land on her face, Betty used that opportunity to kick out at her, throwing her against the windows.

_S KK K RRR RRR EEE EEE EEEE E AAAAA AAAAA AAAA SS SS SS S HH HH H HH! ! ! ! ! ! !_

Cindy's body went hurling through the glass, causing it to shatter into thousands of crystallized pieces, as she rolled on the grass, finally coming to a stop a few feet away. Betty, a feral grin curling her lips, stepped over the broken frame, meandering towards the blonde's prone form.

Sheen, in the meantime, had finally come to, as he picked himself up off the floor and made his way into the living room where all the racket was coming from.

"What in the name of Ultra Lord...?" Sheen's eyes went wide, as he stared with his jaw falling to the floor, completely incredulous at the two girls battling it out. "Holy..." he swore, as he whipped out his cellphone and dialed. After a few rings, someone picked up.

"Carl! CARL! You've got to come here NOW! There are two ultra-smoking hot chicas fighting each other to their deaths right in our living room! No, I'm not imagin—NO I DID NOT JUST SMOKE WEED! DUDE, I'M EFFING SERIOUS! CINDY AND SOME OTHER HOT MAMMA ARE KILLING EACH OTHER! YOU HAVE TO GET HERE QUICKLY BEFORE IT'S OVER! Okay, I'll tell the androids to prepare the popcorn! This is going to be the show of a lifetime!"

Just as he hung up, Betty kicked Cindy against the windows, where the blonde crashed through them. Sheen pulled a chair right up to where the glass lay shattered, as a small robot came up to him holding a bowl of popcorn.

"Oh my gd, oh my gd," Sheen stuffed his face in excitement, as he watched the two ladies fight it out.

"Now who's the inferior one?" Betty goaded, as Cindy's grip tightened over the curtain rod.

"Well," the blonde replied, as she lifted her head up, using her other arm for support. "Considering the fact that Jimmy's Cindysexual, I would say, you are."

The comment definitely hit a nerve, as Betty swung her sword up high, face twisted in rage. "We'll see about that, you good-for-nothing tramp!"

She drove her sword into the ground, Cindy rolling away at the last second.

"Come here, you floozy!" Betty tried to impale her again, but the blonde evaded her once more. "By the time I'm finished with a flake like you, the only sexual orientation Jimmy Neutron will have is BETTYSEXUAL!"

An ominous shriek of lightning shot across the sky at those words, followed by a deafening roar thunder. Cindy stood up, just as dark clouds rolled in overhead.

"Yeah...I don't think that's happening," she answered, as she tossed the curtain rod aside.

Betty eyed her suspiciously. "What are you doing? That was the only weapon you had against me."

"I'm ending this," Cindy reached into her back pocket, pulling out the gun she had taken from Nick earlier that week. Betty gasped as she dropped her sword, taking a few steps back.

"How...? Impossible...!"

Cindy smirked. "See you in hell, you b—"

BANG!

The gunshot rang through the air, hitting the brunette straight in the heart. For a moment, Betty looked completely paralyzed, her eyes wide in shock, mouth slightly open. Then, her body slowly began to wobble, as she started to inflate.

"What-What the hell is going on?" Cindy cried, as she watched the monstrosity enlarging before her.

"SHE'S GONNA BLOW!" Sheen yelled, stuffing his fingers into his ears.

Cindy ran for cover, just as Betty exploded.

**BOOOOM!**

Candy rained down everywhere like a broken pinata.

"Double-you tee eff?" Carl deadpanned, having arrived in time to see Cindy shooting the brunette, and her exploding like a firecracker.

"Woohoo!" Sheen exclaimed, spinning around in his chair. "Wow, didn't know you had it in you to use that acronym, Carl!" The Mexican slapped him on the back."Man, that was flipping awesome! It was almost like the time in Ultra Lord episode 531, where Ultra Lord—"

"Sheen! Carl! What the hell did you guys do to this place? !"

The two turned to see one severely ticked off Jimmy Neutron approaching them.

"Oh, hey Jimmy," Carl greeted nervously. "Well, you see, I was out shopping with Elke when Sheen gave me a call, telling me—"

"Man Jimmy, you should've seen it!" Sheen interrupted. "Cindy and Betty were having an epically major all out war with each other! It was honestly the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

"Wait, Cindy's here?"

"Yeah, she's over there," Sheen pointed to the lone figure on the grass.

Jimmy ran over to her, just as the blonde was dusting herself off.

"Uh...Hey!" Jimmy greeted nervously.

"Hey," Cindy replied, as she looked around at the ruin and debris everywhere. "Took you long enough to get here."

"Sorry...I didn't realize Betty was out to get you."

"Tch. Well, I took care of her already, no thanks to you."

"I'm sorry, okay! Here, let me heal your injuries."

"Are you a doctor?" Cindy arched an eyebrow.

"No, but I've got something every doctor would just _die_ to have!" Jimmy grinned, pulling out an aerosol can from his pocket. "Say hello to the Neutronic quick-fix heal spray! One spritz of this, and all your injuries will be healed, instantly!"

Cindy rolled her eyes, used to the genius's bragging. "Just get on with it."

Jimmy obliged, spraying her from head to toe. Within 30 seconds, all her shallow wounds had healed, and by the end of a minute, any deeper cuts were gone as though never there.

"Not bad," Cindy mused, inspecting her arms and legs.

"I just saved you two weeks worth of hospital bills, and all I get is 'not bad'?" Jimmy arched a brow, though there was a smile on his face.

Cindy placed a hand on her hip. "I want to know something. Are you Sheen's rich friend that he keeps talking about?"

Jimmy rubbed the back of his head. "Uh...yeah...sort of."

The blonde's eyes went wide. "And just why the hell are you blowing all your money on these freaks? !"

"Oh, it's in exchange for being my test subjects for new inventions," Jimmy responded, as though this were obvious.

"Test subjects." Cindy repeated.

"Hey, I have to test my inventions on _someone_, right? I used to use animals, but then those stupid PETA people wouldn't get off my case, so I had to conform to societal pressures."

"And the answer to that was to use humans."

"That's democracy for ya!"

"Well now I have an even more important question for you," Cindy poked him in the chest, looking straight into his eyes.

"What's that?" Jimmy asked interestedly.

"Just why the hell aren't you blowing all of your heard-earned money on _ME! ?_"

* * *

><p>"...So Jimmy was left to ponder this very profound question, which, even with an IQ of 210, he still could not come up with an answer for. On that day, Jimmy Neutron decided that from then on he would spend every last dime, nickel, and cent on the beautiful Cynthia Aurora. Because, she's worth it. And they lived happily ever after. The end."<p>

Cindy closed the book with satisfaction, before becoming aware of the shell-shocked silence from her audience.

"What?" She asked, getting annoyed.

"I-You-That-Story-What in all the seven levels of hell was that prate? !" Jimmy exploded.

Cindy scowled. "It wasn't prate; it was the story of Snow White, as it should be properly told."

"But that wasn't Snow White!" Jimmy burst out. "That was some perverse, corrupted, twisted story full of crude humor, facetious remarks, bigotry, racism, suggestive ideas, murder, drugs, and language, with only very few key elements of the actual tale itself spread thinly throughout the story! Hell, you made _yourself_ Snow White, and you're the complete antithesis of her!"

Cindy shrugged. "Artistic liberties. Anyway, Rosalind enjoyed it, didn't you, sweetie?"

"Yeah, Mommy kicks butt!" Rosie exclaimed, pumping her fists up in the air.

Jimmy slapped his forehead. "And you tell me _my_ storytelling skills are bad. There wasn't even a moral in this one!"

"Of course there was!" Cindy replied, looking insulted. "It's that good always triumphs over evil!"

"And that anyone who starts up with Mommy will end up sorry they did!" Rosalind added enthusiastically.

Jimmy got up, shaking his head and muttering something about 'bad influences' and 'early exposure to violence'.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," he said, bending down to kiss his daughter's head.

"Night Daddy!"

"Just remember that the Betty Quinlan who was evil in the story isn't the same Betty Quinlan in real life."

"Right," Rosalind agreed, nodded her head wisely. "Because the real Betty Quinlan is a nice person who let Mommy have Daddy and didn't try to break them apart."

Jimmy glanced over at his wife, then decided he really _didn't_ want to know.

"Goodnight Rosie," Cindy bent down to hug her daughter. "Remember, Mommy and Daddy love you."

"Love you too, Mom," the little girl returned the hug.

After a moment, the blonde disentangled herself from her daughter, and covered her with the blankets. Jimmy, who was waiting for his wife by the threshold, turned off the lights, and together they exited the room, closing the door behind them.

Once they reached the living room, the genius crossed his arms, fixing his wife with a stare.

"_What_?" Cindy asked, annoyed.

"I'm pretty sure your 'fairy tale' was rated 'R'," Jimmy replied.

"There was _nothing_ explicit! And besides, at least mine was stimulating!"

"Furthermore," he continued, as though she hadn't spoken. "You left out the most important part of the story!"

"Which is…?" Cindy asked, arching a brow.

Jimmy wrapped his arms around his wife's waist, and leaned in close. "Where the handsome prince kisses Snow White to wake her up from her eternal slumber."

"Oh, James, I didn't know you were one for following canon," Cindy smirked, as she leaned in to kiss her husband. "But I'm afraid that sort of thing would fall under 'explicit content', and we wouldn't want to bump up the rating, now would we?"

"Well, I hear they're replaying the story two doors down the hall," Jimmy replied, grinning suggestively.

Cindy raised an eyebrow, beginning to smile. "Oh really?"

"Yes," the genius leaned in to whisper in his wife's ear. "And I hear it's the editor's _uncut_ version."

_The End._

_a/n:_

_no an. too long. will maybe add later. pls review._


	3. careers

**New Beginnings**

"Make sure the statements are in by Monday. I'm not going to be able to do anything after the 28th…no, I get that, but like I said, this is a business I'm running, not a charity organization. Now I'm doing you a favor by extending our deadline to you since it is the holiday season and all, but—I'm not giving you an attitude! You're the one giving me the attitude! I'm trying to hel—Oh yeah? Well same to you!"

Cindy Vortex slammed the phone onto its cradle, before a sound like someone clearing their throat caught her attention.

"What the hell do you want?"

"Ahh…Miss Vortex. I hope I'm not interrupting anything important."

"Get to the point, Rick, I don't have all day," Cindy shuffled the statements before her, placing them on the 'to shred' tray. That was definitely one customer they weren't going to be doing business with again.

"It's the busy season, huh?"

"More like idiots who don't know when you're doing them a favor trying to whine about how they can't get their act together," she shook her head, before taking a deep breath to calm herself. She figured she should be used to this by now, but somehow, it was always a new experience when dealing with morons.

"Well, I'm just handing out the inter-office mail."

The blonde arched a pencil-thin brow. "Isn't that Jessica's job?"

"Yeah, but she wanted to grab lunch, so I figured I'd do it for her so she can get out as quickly as possible."

"Mmmhmm…" Cindy skimmed through the pile of envelopes, mentally filing each one into the category it belonged to. "Half of these are trash, you know. You could've done me the favor of just throwing them out." She got to the last item, the latest issue of Time Magazine, and this time both eyebrows went up in surprise, before she rolled up the magazine along with the items for disposal and handed them to her employee. "Here, you can save me the trouble."

Rick stared at her in shock. "Wait, you're not even going to look through the magazine?"

"Doesn't really interest me."

"But look at who the named Man of the Year!"

"I saw. Jimmy Neutron. Your point?"

Rick stared at her, as Cindy became more and more irritated. Before she could snap at him though, he spoke.

"You knew him."

There was a beat of silence for a moment, before the blonde scoffed. "What are you talking about?"

Rick unfurled the magazine, flipping through it until he found the right page. "He mentions you, in his interview. Here, third paragraph from the right."

Cindy stared at the outstretched article, before shaking her head and pushing it away. "No thanks; I'm really not interested in whatever it is he said about me."

"Okay, then I'll read it," Rick responded. He cleared his throat.

"_At the age of eight, Dr. Neutron moved in with his family to the small, cozy town of Retroville, Texas. There, he quickly made new friends…and rivalries._

'_She was the girl next door, quite literally,' Dr. Neutron relates with a fond smile. 'We used to fight all the time, busting each other's chops, calling each other names, even pulling pranks on each other as much as we could, though we didn't always get away with it. She used to tease me about every invention I made, especially when they somehow went wrong.'_

_The person he's referring to is none other than Ms. Cynthia Vortex, CEO and founder of Vortex Corporations, a liaison company that audits businesses and markets new products."_

Rick finished reading the article, looking up at the blonde who stared back impassively.

"Are you done?" She asked when he closed the magazine. "I really don't see why you thought it necessary to waste five minutes of my time reading me that crap, but I hope you realize you're going to have to make that up on overtime."

"You grew up across the street from one of the most brilliant and greatest men since Albert Einstein, and you never even mentioned it?"

"There was never anything _to_ mention. That was a long time ago. Do you go around telling people who your neighbors were while growing up and what you ate for breakfast in fifth grade?" Cindy snapped.

"Not unless they happen to be one of the greatest geniuses of all time!"

Cindy was quickly losing her patience. "What's your point?"

At this, Rick turned rather sheepish. "You wouldn't be able to get me his autograph by any chance, would you? F-For a friend, that is!"

There was a moment of disbelieving silence, before the blonde exploded.

"Rick Kemmer, you get the hell out of my office this instant! And if you ever bother me about something as insubstantial as this, I'll personally write up your resignation form!"

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry. It was worth a try!" Rick quickly ducked out of the CEO's office before her coffee mug could make contact with his cranium. "So temperamental…" He muttered, though Cindy heard him, and she had to resist the urge to tai-chi him into the next day as his footsteps disappeared around the long hallway.

She sighed as she slumped forward in her seat, forehead held against her interlaced hands. So, Jimmy had mentioned her in his article. How…touching. Even after all these years he still remembered her. What was probably most surprising of all was not the article itself, but her lack of emotion towards it. It was funny, but she hadn't thought about the boy genius in years. At most, he had been a fleeting thought on the edges of her subconscious. Nothing particularly dramatic.

She got up and walked over to the large bay windows that overlooked the Hudson River. Her sheet of blonde hair stood out sharply against the black jacket of her suit, as it fell just slightly over her shoulders. With a grey blouse that seemed to call attention to her eyes, and a single pearl necklace adorning her throat, she looked nothing if not the epitome of success and professionalism.

It was just too bad, she thought to herself, as she fingered the smooth surface of the pearl around her neck. Life had changed her so much, that sometimes she didn't connect herself with the aggressive ten-year-old who knew what she wanted, and how to get it. Sure, she was still intimidating, with many fans and admirers', but the things she worked so hard for, money, success, fame, did nothing to fill the void in her right now. It was as if everything she had been told as a young girl was a lie, and now she was left with an emptiness that seemed to fill her nights…and sometimes her days.

She stared out the windows for a few more moments, before shaking her head, as though it would help shake off the melancholy that seemed to settle over her, and went back to her desk, pulling the day's unfinished tasks towards her.

* * *

><p>"Dr. Neutron, a word please!"<p>

"Dr. Neutron, can you please give us a hint as to what your next invention will be?"

"Dr. Neutron, any thoughts on what's in store for the upcoming year?"

"As the first person to win the Nobel Prize in bulk, can you tell us how you feel?"

"What are some of your plans for the foreseeable future?"

"Dr. Neutron!"

"_Dr. Neutron!_"

"**Dr. Neutron!**"

Jimmy desperately shut the door to his suite, bolting it. He leaned against it, panting, as he had run all the way here to escape those incessant reporters. He could still hear them, crowded outside his hotel room, hoping for a chance to ask him a few questions and get higher ratings for the night.

He sighed, feeling somehow drained from the day's events. He flopped down on the couch in front of the TV, turning it on. Letting the various noises of commercials and programs sweep over him, he tilted his head back, closing his eyes. A few minutes passed in silence, with nothing but the sound of the television in the background.

Slowly he raised a hand, massaging his forehead as he wondered at his sudden development towards apathy. It seemed to be happening more and more often lately. He'd invent something. The weeks leading up to and perfecting the invention were filled with anticipation and excitement, each step closer putting him on a high. Then, once the machine was completed, patented, packaged, and shipped to China for mass reproduction, he would eagerly watch for the day his product hit the shelves of all stores worldwide. This would be followed by a period where everyone could only talk about how wonderful his gadgets are, and how they've made life so much easier for the common, everyday folk.

Lately though, he'd been in a slump. Inventing just didn't bring the same joy it once had, and even finishing something only gave him a momentary lift. It seemed nearly impossible to believe, but James Isaac Neutron was starting to slip into depression.

"What's wrong with me, Goddard?" Jimmy whispered to his faithful companion.

"Bark bark."

"I should be the happiest man alive! I've accomplished everything I've set out to do, and then some! I've won the Nobel Prize in bulk, gained the respect and recognition I wanted from the Scientific Community, my inventing skills have improved tremendously since I was a kid, with only a point-one percent inaccuracy rating; I mean, people _pay_ me to come see their inventions, give lectures at their school, fly me in to see their inventions, even just to shake hands is a big honor for them! I'm basically rolling in respect and money, and yet…I've never felt so empty in my entire life…"

Jimmy sighed, as Goddard whined from beside him. "It's just…I don't know what's wrong with me Goddard. It doesn't make any sense. According to all my calculations, I should be feeling nothing but euphoria and pride at everything I've done, but instead I feel as if all those things are just—"

The ringing of his cell phone cut the genius off. Taking it out of his pocket, he blinked in confusion for a moment when he saw that it wasn't ringing. That was when he realized it was coming from his wrist.

"Mom! Dad!" Jimmy exclaimed, as he hit the 'talk' button on his multi-functional watch.

"Hi honey!" Judy Neutron's cheerful voice came over the speaker, as her face appeared on the miniature hologram.

"Mom!" Jimmy grinned, feeling like a homesick schoolboy.

"Hey Jimbo! How've ya been?"

"Dad!"

"Guess what we just got in the mail!" Hugh Neutron waved a rolled up magazine in the air.

"What's that?" Jimmy asked, puzzled.

"_Well_, Mr. Man-of-the-Year," Judy began in a stern voice, but her smile made it obvious how proud she was of him.

"Oh, the Time's article," Jimmy slapped his forehead, laughing lightly. "Sorry, I've been so busy, I completely forgot about it."

"Too busy winning awards left and right, huh, Jim-Jam," Hugh grinned at his son. "That's my boy!"

"What you said about us in the interview was so sweet!" Judy clasped her hands together, looking like she was about to cry.

"Of course, mom," Jimmy smiled warmly. "I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for you and Dad supporting me all these years."

Well, that may or may not be true. Though Hugh and Judy certainly did everything in their power to support their son, most of the reason why Jimmy got to be where he was today was due to his own volition. His parents were really more like his support staff that he called upon to get him out of whatever mess he'd made for himself, which, as the years had gone by, became fewer and farther between.

His words touched his parents though, as his mother burst into emotional tears, and even his father wiped a few from the corner of his eye. "Anyway Jimbo, your mother and I called you because we wanted to know if you'd be coming around to our neck of the woods this holiday season."

"Oh." Jimmy's face fell, as he thought of his completely packed schedule for the next few weeks. Sadly, a visit to Retroville had been one of the last things on his mind.

"It would mean so much to us," Judy implored. "After all, it's been close to two years since the last time you came, and we've missed you so much."

Jimmy's insides squirmed with guilt. It was true, though his parents meant the world to him, he rarely found time to send an email, let alone pay a visit. It made him feel bad, every time he stopped to think about it, but he supposed it was just one of those sacrifices that were made when one was a genius. After all, Albert Einstein and Charles Mason didn't get to be who they were without making sacrifices, and this was his.

"Besides," his father pitched in, "Your mother made your favorite type of pie!"

"And I got out all our old decorations, like the one you made in first grade, you remember it? It was one of your favorite inventions—"

"—Oooh and I got this new duck figurine to hang on our mantelpiece! I've been meaning to show it to you son, they say it's carved out of cherry, and would you believe it, it's even got that red—"

"Mom! Dad!" Jimmy shouted, halting the flow of conversation. He cringed as they turned to look at him expectantly, faces full of hope. "I'm sorry, but I'm—"

* * *

><p>"—Busy."<p>

Cindy listened, half impatient, half exasperated to the voice on the other end of the line, as her mother tried to convince her that she _had_ to come home, because she was throwing a party, and all her friends would be there, and she promised them that they'd finally get to meet her famous daughter.

"Look mom, I'm not the one who told them that. You should've cleared it with me first, before going around and promising all your colleagues that they'll get a chance to meet me. Then you wouldn't be embarrassed when you have to tell them that I couldn't make it!"

Cindy held the phone away from her ear as her mother yelled at her for not being grateful for everything she'd done for her, and that she never asked her for anything before, and this small little favor she couldn't do for the sake of her own mother?

Cindy rolled her eyes as she glanced at the large, digital clock on her wall. She knew this routine by now. Her mother calls her up with some request that she can't or wasn't interested in doing. She tells her mother no. Her mother guilt-trips her into doing it anyway, thereby getting her way. She does it, and ends up miserable that she ever agreed in the first place. It was the same cycle each time.

"Look mom, can we talk about this later? I have to get back to work; it's the busy season, after all." Work. If there was one thing Sasha Vortex knew how to appreciate, it was a well-paying job.

A few minutes later she said her goodbyes and hung up. Cindy sighed, as she laced her fingers together. Burying her head in them, she tried to think of what to do. Going back to Retroville was the last thing she wanted, and playing the part of dutiful daughter was making that prospect as appealing as gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe. But what excuse did she really have to stay here? It wasn't like the office was going to be open, and she hadn't made any plans either, except maybe to sit in her luxury apartment with a huge bowl of ice cream watching her favorite telenova dramas while washing all the sugar down with some expensive red wine.

Yep, definitely the way a successful CEO spent her holiday. Then again, the alternative, being carted around by her mother all night, introduced from one person she could care less about to another, who would no doubt want to mention their son/friend/brother/nephew/third cousin twice removed who just so happens to be successful and available, and gee, wouldn't it be so great if they'd meet and get to know one another…?

Between the two evils, Cindy figured she'd take telenova dramas any day of the week. But who was she kidding anyways? She knew her mother better than anyone else. Sasha wouldn't simply drop the subject, and one way or another, whether she liked it or not, she was going to get on that plane to Retroville kicking and screaming. She would just be better off saving herself the headache that would no doubt result from her mother's incessant yelling at her to be a good obedient daughter and listen to her.

She let out a sigh, secretly wondering if she was some sort of masochist, that she continually allowed herself to get cowed like this by her mom, before dialing her secretary, asking her to book a roundtrip ticket to Retroville for New Year's.

* * *

><p>"…So you see, I really would love to come, but I can't. I just have such a full schedule, that it would be impossible for me to come home, even though I really want to. Maybe…maybe next year? O-or maybe for New Year's?" He added quickly, seeing his parents' crestfallen expressions.<p>

"But Jimbo, didn't they ask you to drop the ball in Atlantic City this year?"

"Oh, yeah, that's right..eh heh…" Jimmy scratched his cheek in embarrassment. "Well, I'll find time to visit you guys, don't worry! When my schedule clears up a bit, I'll take the first flight home, promise!"

"Honey," Judy began in that gentle tone that just made Jimmy's insides ooze with guilt. "We know how busy you are, and we want you to know that no matter what, your father and I are always so, so proud of you. Prouder than any parent could ever be of their own child. But you're twenty-nine now, and you're not a kid anymore; you're an adult, and you can make your own adult decisions. You don't have to try and excuse yourself to us dear; we know how busy you are. But we're not getting any younger either, and we've missed you very much. It would mean the world to us if we could see you again, and spend the holidays together like we used to as a family, but we understand if it's too hard for you. Just know that we love you, and miss you."

"I-I'm sorry mom…"

"It's alright honey, take care of yourself."

"I'll make it up to you guys somehow, I promise!"

His mother merely smiled, before the call disconnected, and the hologram disappeared from view. Jimmy sighed, throwing himself back on the couch, just lying there. From across, the TV droned on, the meteorologist reporting what the weather will be like for the next ten days. The brunet smirked slightly as he thought of his newest invention which would boost weather-prediction accuracy rates by fifty percent, and allow weathermen to give the forecast for the next thirty days in advance. But just as quickly as it came, the smile slipped off his face.

"What should I do, Goddard?" Jimmy hid his face with his hands. "It's not that I don't want to spend time with them, it's just that I'm going to be so bored there! I can just picture, Dad going on and on about his duck collection. I mean, you heard him on the phone; he can't wait to show me what he's added. Remember last time we visited? He sat for three hours cataloguing every figurine and showing off every nick and scratch on each one of them. I thought my brain was going to explode! Thank gd I got a phone call about one of my inventions so I had an excuse to leave! And Mom would've been worse! She probably has a long list somewhere of pre-approved women for me to date. I can just see her reading me every name on the list, asking me if I'm interested in one of them, or if any of them caught my eye. What am I supposed to tell her, huh? That I've dated five girls in the last ten years and that all of them broke up with me? That I was too 'boring' or 'shallow' or 'obsessed with science'? That most of them just wanted me for my money and when I refused to give them a red cent, they got angry and broke it off? Mom'll tell me that I need a wife; that I should start a family, but the truth is, I don't need anyone. A wife would only inhibit me, hold me back from reaching my true potential. She'll nag and complain to me that I'm spending too much time cooped up in the lab, or that I don't know how to enjoy life, or she'll spend all my money leaving me a penniless pauper…" Jimmy trailed off, his voice dying as he went along, not fully believing everything he'd just said.

"…_And now, as promised, here is our exclusive interview with Dr. James Neutron!"_

Jimmy turned his head to the TV, sitting up straighter as he watched the interview he'd gone through earlier that day. It was strange, watching the 10 minutes he'd allotted the reporter in the morning, which could be repeated word for word, question for question from his memory. Still, it would be interesting to watch himself on television, trying to figure out how the rest of the country viewed him.

The questions asked had been pretty generic and boring, for the most part, except for the last one. He wasn't sure if it was a question from the reporter herself, or if the station had told her to ask it. Either way, it had an unsettling effect on him.

"_So Dr. Neutron, would you say you're the happiest man on Earth?"_

"_Well Marsha, happiness in itself is a hormonal thing. As I'm sure you know, elevated levels of dopamine, serotonin, and other such endorphins are what bring about this feeling we call happiness. And as it is impossible, and even dangerous to sustain such high levels of these hormones in the body, it would be inaccurate to state that one is always truly happy."_

"_Uh…right. Well Dr. Neutron, in general, would you say you're the happiest man alive? After all, given everything you've accomplished so far since you were a teenager, I'm sure that you must be filled with quite a lot of pride."_

"_Well, of course I take a lot of pride in my successes, but as they say, you can't be content for too long, because the next great adventure is right around the corner."_

"_But on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate yourself?"_

"_Oh, a ten, definitely a ten."_

Jimmy shut off the TV, leaving him in a dark apartment. The reporter had been very insistent on getting an answer to her question, much to his chagrin. After all, if he had to rate his happiness level right now, it would probably be a negative eight. The genius sighed, sinking down lower into the couch. First this overall feeling of depression, that he couldn't seem to pinpoint as coming from anything specific (he'd already run the necessary blood tests to rule out any endocrine-related problems) and now he had the crushing weight of guilt for blowing off his parents right before the holidays because he didn't want to have a face to face conversation with them.

"I'm a terrible person, aren't I, Goddard?"

The robotic dog blinked at him, his luminous eyes staring in what resembled pity. He gave a soft whine, as Jimmy sighed.

Taking out his cell phone, he called up his secretary, asking her to clear his schedule for New Year's.

* * *

><p>There was a short knock on the door before it burst open. Rick Kemmer entered. Before Cindy could say a word, he strode over to her desk, stopping right in front of it, and crossing his arms.<p>

"So."

Cindy arched a brow, as her employee continued.

"You. Are going. To Retroville."

"And if I am?"

At this point Rick dropped his serious façade and all but fell to his knees as he began to beg. "Please can you get me Jimmy Neutron's autograph? Please, please, please!"

Cindy's eyebrows drew together in annoyance. She opened her mouth to tell him to beat it before he got himself fired, but Rick was faster.

"Just hear me out, okay? You see, I have this autograph book where I collect the signatures of famous people!" He promptly whipped out the aforementioned book. "See, here's Jennifer Lawrence. And here's Bryan Konietzko and Michael DiMartinez, the creators of Avatar and Legend of Korra! And look, here's Mitt Romney's signature! And Obama's!"

The blonde arched a brow, impressed against her will. "Never took you to be obsessed over a kids cartoon show, or politics for that matter."

"Avatar is _not_ a kid's show! There were more innuendoes in one episode than an entire season of Spongebob! Oh, and yeah, I'm not really into politics. Both candidates were absolute losers who I wouldn't trust running a pub stop, let alone our country. But hey, imagine how much I'll get for this baby if I ever decide to sell it on ebay!"

Cindy rolled her eyes. "Even if I _do_ agree to this, Neutron isn't going to magically appear in Retroville at the same time that I'm there. He's got his own schedule, and I'm not the kind of obsessive stalker who'll keep after where he is and when."

"Ah, but I _am_ the kind of obsessive stalker who would do that! And it just so happens that he's travelling to Retroville to spend New Year's with his parents."

It was a good thing Cindy had years of practicing her poker face, or otherwise the shock would've left her slack-jawed. As it was, she merely arranged her facial features into a bored expression.

"Oh really?"

Rick grinned, watching her carefully. "Yeah. They just announced it on the news today. Someone saw him packing up the hovercar, and everyone knows he was invited to spend the holidays with the Obamas in Hawaii, and when asked, he accidentally let it slip that he'll be going home for New Year's."

"Hmph. I'm surprised he didn't use his hypno-ray to make everyone forget he'd said that."

"The what-ray?"

"Never mind," Cindy responded, rolling her eyes. "Look Rick, I'm only going to be in Retroville for an hour or two. There's no way I'm going to head over to Nerdtron's even if he is right across the street, so you can quit getting your hopes up."

"But what if you happen to run into him? Will you get it for me then?" Rick pleaded, grabbing at straws.

Cindy sighed. "You know what the odds are of me running into him are, when I don't _want_ to run into him?"  
>"Three hundred and forty-seven to one," Rick answered promptly. His grin was so broad, that Cindy was positive he'd looked up the answer especially because he knew she'd ask it.<p>

"Fine, but don't start crying when I hand this back to you blank. Just leave it on my desk, and get out of my sight."

"Oh, thank you Cindy! Thank you!" Rick cried. And if she weren't, well, Cindy Vortex, he probably would've hugged her out of gratitude. As it were, he merely thanked her profusely, laying the autograph book delicately on her desk, and leaving before his boss lost her temper and changed her mind.

Cindy rolled her eyes at her employees antics, as she heard him whistling the tune of 'I'm going to be a millionaire' as he sauntered down the hall.

"I'm going to have to make sure human resources starts screening my employees for being fans of Neutron."

* * *

><p>Jimmy eased the car down as he landed soundlessly on his parents' front lawn. It was already dark out, and he was running late. After dropping the ball in Atlantic City, he had done his best to get away from the crowds as fast as possible, all the while refusing one drink after another. Even if he was a genius, that didn't give him the right to drive to Retroville while under influence.<p>

Jimmy sighed as he shifted the car into park. He looked up at the home of his childhood, lit up by dozens of decorations, but the windows were dark. It looked like his parents had already gone to bed.

"Looks like Mom and Dad didn't bother waiting for us, huh boy?" Jimmy said quietly to his faithful companion. "Guess trying to surprise them was a bad idea."

After a few moments of reflective staring, he cut the engine, leaving everything in silence and darkness. "Well, c'mon boy, at least we can leave our presents, right?"

Jimmy's shoulders sagged as he got out of the car and opened the trunk. Inside sat two large, festively wrapped gifts. The brunet carefully removed them, now suddenly unsure if what he'd gotten his parents was something they'd enjoy.

Goddard seemed to sense his master's hesitations, as he barked softly from beside him.

"I don't know boy…" he said quietly. "They're not even awake, and it's not like I can stay the night. I have to leave before dawn, or else I'll never make it in time for that conference in Japan…" he trailed off, realizing how pathetic he sounded to his own ears. He also felt a rising frustration over the fact that he suddenly seemed incapable of making up his mind over anything anymore.

As he stood there, leaning against the side of the hovercar, he buried his face in his hands. Since when had he changed so much? What had happened to the self-assured, confident young man of yesteryear? When had he suddenly transformed into the sad, depressed adult of the present?

"Well, well, well. Of all the people to meet outside on a small-time block in Retroville."

Jimmy's head immediately snapped up, hardly believing his own ears. "Cindy Vortex!"

Cindy rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't look so shocked to see me. Who were you expecting, Miss Fowl?"

Jimmy blinked, before giving his head a little shake as though to get a grip on things. "It's just…I didn't…expect to run into you. In fact, I didn't expect you to be here at all."

Cindy shrugged, as she leaned against the car, her eyes taking in all the improvements that had been added on, filling her with a sense of nostalgia. "My mom was throwing a party tonight, and insisted that I come. Who am I to say no?"

"But wait; don't you live in New York now?"

"Manhattan, actually. Just a few blocks away from the Empire State Building, where I work."

Jimmy's eyes went wide. "You seem to have done quite well for yourself."

"You could say that. If owning a multi-billion company is called 'doing well'."

Jimmy shook his head, giving a slight smirk. "Still trying to outdo me, huh? You haven't changed a bit, Cindy."

The blonde returned his smirk with one of her own. "There's got to be someone out there who can take you down a few pegs. Can't have your already inflated ego bringing about the next great disaster."

Jimmy laughed. For the first time in a really long time, he genuinely laughed. At the same time, he also felt a rising ache in his chest, the feeling of something long missed.

There was silence for a few moments, as the brunet gazed up at the stars and the blonde picked at her nails.

"I mentioned you, you know," he said quietly at last. "In a Time's article. They named me man of the year, and conducted an interview—"

"I saw," Cindy interrupted. "One of my employees is a huge fan of yours, so as soon as he saw my name in that article, he wasted no time bringing it to my attention, and then begging me to get your autograph for him."

"My autograph?" Jimmy grinned, arching a brow. "Well now, I think I like this employee of yours already."

Cindy huffed, crossing her arms and looking away, obviously annoyed. Jimmy laughed once more, before silence fell upon them again.

"So what'd you think of it? The article, I mean."

Cindy shrugged. "Nothing, really. I mean, I thought it was interesting that you mentioned me, but it wasn't life-changing, if that's what you were going for."

"Ah," Jimmy looked down for a moment, the memory of their rivalry; their constant back and forth, the pranks they played, and the trouble they'd get into during their elementary school years, all seemed to wash over him like a sad rain. It was as if someone was replaying his life on high-speed, right before his eyes, and it was all he could do to reach out and transport himself back to those halcyon days.

"When did we change so much, Cindy?" He asked quietly, finally breaking the silence that had settled over the two like a heavy blanket. "I feel as if nothing is the same anymore. Everything I've set out to do, I've accomplished. But instead of feeling happy, I'm just so…miserable." He let out a sigh, stealing a glance at the blonde who finally turned to look at him, before glancing away. "Sorry, I know that sounds pretty stupid."

"No, it isn't," Cindy was quiet for a moment. "It's…pretty empty…when you get to the top, huh?"

"Yeah…it is. I always thought this is what I wanted more than anything. To be recognized by the scientific community, to be appreciated by everyone…but instead, all those Nobel Peace prizes that I won…they're so meaningless to me. I feel as if…as if I missed out on the important things…that somehow, I was too busy reaching my goal, that I ended up losing sight of what mattered altogether…"

Cindy gave a sad smile, the words he'd spoken resonating deeply within her. "It's definitely not all it's cracked up to be, that's for sure."

"You know what I miss the most?" Jimmy turned to her suddenly.

"Hmm…?"

"Having you around. Call me crazy, but I always think back to our conversations when we were kids, how we used to tease each other, or call each other names. I miss arguing over stupid things, just for the heck of it, trying to see who can outshine the other."

Cindy gave a slight chuckle, shaking her head sadly. "I'm not that girl anymore, Neutron. I've changed a lot over the last ten years, and it's like you said before, nothing's the same. We're all different."

Jimmy gazed at her, as though seeing her for the first time, which in a sense, he actually was. Though there was still a resemblance to the girl he knew back in his teenage years, there was also something else there. It was that despondency that seemed to have taken residency in her once vivacious eyes.

A thought occurred to him then, and he let out a slight chuckle. The blonde turned to him, quirking an eyebrow.

"What's so funny?"

"I was just thinking…based on the tone of our conversation, any casual observer would probably deduce that we're experiencing what modern medicine likes to call a 'mid-life crisis'. After all, we're both smart, capable, highly accomplished individuals who, for some unknown reason, are miserable and depressed, and have been reduced to sitting outside their childhood homes moping about it."

"A mid-life crisis? When we haven't even hit thirty yet? Give me a break Nerdtron, only you could spout some scientific crap like that!"

"It's not science, per se, Vortex. It's psychology, which is a constantly evolving branch of medicine."

"And since when do you believe in psychology? Have you finally gone to see a shrink to help deal with that huge head of yours?"

"I'll have you know, _Vortex_, that this huge head is the creator of the top ten inventions affecting your everyday life! Why else do you think the price of gas dropped so drastically in the last decade? Or the reason your electricity bill isn't as high as it used to be? Or the lack of pollution in the air due to better nuclear power sources and cleaner energy? And let's not forget that I was the one who singlehandedly stopped the icecaps from melting due to global warming!"

"Still showing off. You haven't changed a bit, Neutron. You're still the same," Cindy shook her head, though a smile was on her face.

"Maybe," the brunet conceded, mirroring her expression. He turned towards her, placing his hand on her arm, which caused the blonde's eyes to widen slightly. "But it doesn't seem to me that you've changed all that much either."

"Jimmy…"

His hand reached up, and for a moment Cindy thought he was going to kiss her. Instead, his fingers hooked underneath the delicate chain around her neck, cradling the small pearl that gleamed in the light coming from all the decorations around them.

"I see you've still kept this."

"A…sentimental token, I assure you."

Jimmy gave a knowing smirk, the kind that infuriated Cindy and made her want to slap him. Instead she turned away from him, causing him to let go, as she crossed her arms.

"What, are you going to ignore me now because I don't believe you?"

Slowly, the blonde uncrossed her arms, realizing how immature she was acting. "Look Jimmy," she said, a bite of impatience in her voice as she turned to face him slightly. "I know what you're thinking. You think that me and you meeting here is like some sort of sign, something fated, and that we should try and get together. But it just wouldn't work between us. We're both married to our jobs, and we're both too busy with our lives for a relationship to stand a chance."

"I'm not a believer in things like fate and destiny," Jimmy began, a frown replacing his earlier smile. He walked around so that he was facing her. "But I can't argue with the fact that this ten-minute conversation with you has made me happier than the last ten years of my life have."

Cindy felt her defenses beginning to crumble as she looked up into his cobalt blue eyes. "Happiness is a fleeting surge of endorphins; didn't you say that in your interview on the news?"

Jimmy shook his head. "That may be true, but you're the reason my endorphin levels are high right now, not my job, and not my inventions. Maybe we've both become different people since high school, but I don't think our personalities have changed that much, that we wouldn't be able to get along like we once had."

Cindy hesitated, looking down at the ground. This would definitely be a leap of faith. After all, there was no telling what it would be like to have Jimmy back in her life, especially since he acquired his celebrity status.

"You do realize that what you're getting is a package, right, Neutron?" She asked, looking up at him in the same manner she used for cutting business deals. "That you don't just get my sweet side, but you also get my cranky, pmsing side as well."

"I wasn't aware you had a sweet side, Vortex," Jimmy teased, as she smacked him on his chest. "But I'll look forward to discovering it."

He was grinning at her so broadly, that Cindy felt her lips tug up in a smile. "So, what _were_ you doing outside on a small-time block in Retroville, tonight of all nights?"

"Visiting my parents; came to drop off their gifts, but they've long since gone to sleep."

"Well, how about we wake them up? I'm sure your mom and dad will be thrilled to see you, and we can tell them together that we're dating."

"Dating, huh? Does this mean I get to call you my girlfriend?"

"Only _after_ you break the news to _my_ mom. And for that, Neutron, you're on your own."

"H-Hey! Wait a second! I never agreed to this! Cindy—you can't possibly expect _me_ to be the one to tell your mom we're dating! You have to be there!"

"Package deal, Neutron~!" Cindy trilled, as she ran up the steps to his front door.

"Ciiiinnndddyyyy!" Jimmy whined, but gave up as he saw her broad smirk. She looked like a cat that had just swallowed the canary. He gave a sigh. "What did I just get myself into, boy?" He looked down at Goddard.

The faithful pet gave a bark, as the brunet removed the two presents from his trunk. Glancing at the blonde waiting patiently by his doorstep, he gave a smile.

"Then again, I don't think I'd have it any other way."

_End._


End file.
